the dumbest idea i’ve ever had: speedrunning disneyland

Last night, I was joking with my fiancée about the concept of a Disneyland 100% speedrun. Specifically, debating what constitutes 100%. We decided on everything that’s listed in the attractions and entertainment pages on disneyland.com. Turns out, that’s a lot of things. And I’m going to attempt to do all of them in one day.

After getting home from work today, I spent some time writing up rules and figuring out rough timings. In the process, I realized that I am uniquely advantaged to doing this quickly.

I broke my ankle last year and as a result, have trouble walking and standing for extended amounts of time. Fortunately, Disneyland has a program called disability access service that allows me to get a return time for any ride based on the current wait time. This means I can do something else instead of waiting in line, such as taking a rest somewhere. Or, as I will foolishly do, ride four more rides in the area.

I’m going to Disneyland the weekend of 2/10-2/12, and I fully intend to attempt this on 2/11. It will be easier than usual to finish this on those dates as several attractions are down for refurbishment. However, I think it’s still valid for an initial run, even if “several things are down” is a mark against it.

I have some rules I’ve made for myself, along with bonus point opportunities to shave time off the end.

Rules

• Time starts when your ticket is scanned at the front gate.
• Time stops when you get off the final ride.
• You can (and are encouraged to) use MaxPass.
• Using DAS is a separate category.
• You can skip a ride if you are unable to do it (e.g., Tarzan’s Treehouse or Davy Crockett’s Explorer Canoes). However, you must remain in the area for the length of the attraction, and you can not do something else while waiting.
• You must stay for the entirety of any show listed. If the show is an outdoor music performer, such as The Dapper Dans, you must stay for at least one song.
• If the attraction title specifies meeting a character, you must meet that character. Otherwise, you can treat it as a walkthrough.

Now that the rules are out of the way, let’s talk bonus points!

Bonus Points

There are several opportunities throughout the run to get bonus points. Each bonus point subtracts one minute from your total time. However, you must have sufficient proof that you earned these points. For some this is easy, but for some, the burden of proof is much higher. A correctly timestamped and geotagged photo or video should be sufficient.

• ride one of the two horses that’s secretly a mule on King Arthur Carousel: 1 point
• ride in the nosecone on the Disneyland Monorail: 2 points
• ride behind the wheel on Indiana Jones Adventure: 2 points
• photograph a broken animatronic: 3 points
• be chosen as the rebel spy on Star Tours: 7 points
• photograph one of the Disneyland Cats: 10 points
• pull the sword from the stone: 10 points
• ride goes down with you on it: 20 points
• • the burden of proof for this is extremely high since it’s the easiest one to fake
• power goes out: 50 points

I have no idea how well this is going to go or if I’ll even finish it. I’ll definitely be live-tweeting it at @jkap under the hashtag #DLDQ2018 so you’ll be able to watch me die on 2/11. Wish me luck!